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<\/figure><\/div>\n\n\nThe gruesome horror movie \u201cLonglegs\u201d pulled something of an upset at this past weekend\u2019s domestic box office. It wasn\u2019t enough to upset \u201cDespicable Me 4\u201d for the #1 spot, but it did do the best among new releases. Great reviews were seemingly enough to pull the family-unfriendly indie darling into the #2 spot and make it the only movie to pull in half of what \u201cDespicable Me 4\u201d made. And to all the critics whose diligent word of mouth turned this scrappy upstart into a surprise hit, I have to say: you must have seen a different \u201cLonglegs\u201d than I did, because the movie I saw was a joke.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Maika Monroe stars as FBI agent Lee Harker. She\u2019s super-intuitive to the point where neither she nor the Bureau can figure out if she\u2019s psychic or just highly intelligent. Whatever the reason, she\u2019s competent enough for veteran agent Carter (Blair Underwood) to put her on a high-profile case. They\u2019re looking for a person of interest called Longlegs, connected to a series of family murders. The murders themselves are apparently committed by members of the respective families, but a cryptic, Satanic note attributed to Longlegs is always found at the scene. The mystery is, what\u2019s Longlegs\u2019 deal?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Nicolas Cage plays Longlegs, who I\u2019d describe as a cross between \u201cSilence of the Lambs\u201d villain Buffalo Bill and Michael Jackson. But not actually-convincingly-creepy \u201cThriller\u201d Michael Jackson, but screechy, ultra-white, only-unintentionally-creepy Michael Jackson. But at least Buffalo Bill was able to behave somewhat normally in a few scenes so he could plausibly fool victims and authorities. Longlegs doesn\u2019t have a single moment where he\u2019s not a total wackaloon. I\u2019m convinced the only reason this movie is set in the 90\u2019s is because at any subsequent time, he\u2019d be filmed on a phone and arrested – not for the murders, but for being a public nuisance. Some will say that he has to be taken seriously as a villain because of the gravity of the crimes in his vicinity, but even he knows he can\u2019t be taken seriously and needs to find a way around it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
It\u2019s clear that Longlegs is either mentally ill or demon-possessed. The same can be said for Lee\u2019s hoarder mother Ruth (Alicia Witt), as well as minor characters with direct connections to the case like scene-stealing survivor Carrie Anne (Kiernan Shipka). But I can\u2019t for the life of me figure out why every actor in this movie has to play their part like a total weirdo. A crime lab specialist is quick to posit wild theories about a mysterious container. A mental hospital ward is so trusting that he doesn\u2019t check ID\u2019s on visitors. Even Lee is filled with quirks, like wanting nothing to do with Carter\u2019s daughter Ruby (Ava Kelders, herself playing her part with distracting stiffness). The lack of social grace wasn\u2019t funny when Dakota Johnson did it in \u201cMadame Web\u201d and it isn\u2019t funny here.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cLonglegs\u201d would have worked better if more characters were played straight, so the odd ones would stand out more. Not that the odd ones don\u2019t stand out, but they have to overcompensate, hamming up their performances to ridiculous levels. Director Osgood Perkins clearly told every cast member, \u201cwe like weird, people!\u201d apparently forgetting that it was both subtle and broad strokes that made his father Anthony such a memorable horror villain in \u201cPsycho.\u201d Imagine if Norman Bates popped out in a dress in all his scenes instead of just one and you\u2019ll understand my problem with \u201cLonglegs.\u201d The movie is effectively scary in some early scenes where we don\u2019t quite know the enemy, but it loses that effectiveness when the enemy, along with too many other characters, proves to be phony and silly.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Grade: C-<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cLonglegs\u201d is rated R for bloody violence, disturbing images and some language. Its running time is 101 minutes.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
By Bob Garver The gruesome horror movie \u201cLonglegs\u201d pulled something of an upset at this past weekend\u2019s domestic box office. It wasn\u2019t enough to upset \u201cDespicable Me 4\u201d for… <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":8,"featured_media":59785,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[108],"tags":[2758],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/thelehighacresgazette.com\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/59784"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/thelehighacresgazette.com\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/thelehighacresgazette.com\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thelehighacresgazette.com\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/8"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thelehighacresgazette.com\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=59784"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/thelehighacresgazette.com\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/59784\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":59786,"href":"https:\/\/thelehighacresgazette.com\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/59784\/revisions\/59786"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thelehighacresgazette.com\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/59785"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/thelehighacresgazette.com\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=59784"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thelehighacresgazette.com\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=59784"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thelehighacresgazette.com\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=59784"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}